On the Road...Fellatio Included

Here's the bread-and-butter scenario: you're driving through wide open country with Hunky Companion who happens to be operating the machinery. He twists his fingers over the radio volume, presses his foot against the gas pedal. Tumbleweeds--cacti--what have you--speed past your window. You haven't seen a speed limit sign, a bystanding rabbit, or a refrigerated truck in what seems like hours. Hunky Companion rubs his thumb over the edge of the clutch and continues moving until he grasps your thigh. The sun begins to go down and you think, why not?

Hot enough of a subject to land 16 posts on texts from last night and tingle the editing hands of Esquire and Jezebel, what many a youth refer to as "road head" is a pervasive yet taboo(-ed) phenomenon of sexually active persons since the dawn of Ford. Nearly as golden as a threesome but as dangerous as texting while driving, road head can be perplexing, exciting, adventurous, and even empowering. On the one hand, going down on a man while he drives puts him in complete control. Hunky Companion is the manliest man possible--he's driving a car, he's got a hot woman in passenger seat, and he's--for lack of a better phrase--gettin' his dick sucked...

On the other hand, both you and Hunky Companion lose control by performing your intimate act in a public setting.

Both the gain of control and loss of control that come with the road head experience cause it to be thrilling, perhaps scary for some. If you do choose to engage in road head with someone, follow these three simple rules:
1) Don't attempt while intoxicated; bumps, potholes and other road impediments could cause injury if not anticipated.
2) Be discreet. Although there are no actual laws against receiving/giving head while operating a motor vehicle, there are laws against reckless endangerment, public acts of indecency, and in many states, oral sex itself!
3) Watch your elbows...wrists...jaw..etcetera. One foul move while concentrating on the act at hand could land your car in reverse or with the emergency break up. Getting road head may seem godly, but explaining a totaled car post-road-head is just humiliating.

Thank you, come again!